Morning sickness has officially hit 12.6.08

I’m watching Sex and the City: the movie. Its funnily similar to my own life. The 10-yr relationship, the guy not interested in the wedding, the fakest part of the movie is Big bailing on the wedding. It was out of character. The real ending is that we get married and live pretty happily ever after. Charlotte is pregnant, Samantha gets a little dog, Miranda is too busy working to have a life and holds it against everyone.
I like the movie, a lot.
DH called at 5pm (yesterday he said he’d be home before it ‘got late’) to say he might not be home ‘til tomorrow. I have been nauseous since Friday night and have just wanted him to hold me and ask if I need anything. And he knows this and he still suggested that he might not come home til tomorrow. And then decided to come home tonight only after I got upset. So now I feel guilty, like I forced him to do something he didn't want to by being a baby.
So about the nausea. I’ve had it ever since last night. I was projectile vomiting into the toilet for several minutes. It felt as bad as any throwing up episode in my life. Shaky, tearing, coughing, worried that I’ll choke myself. I threw up everything. And then I didn’t eat anything and stayed in bed for 10 hours instead. Which made me sicker. And when I got up I still felt sick. I ate a little all day, frequently. And got Sea Bands. But I still have felt sick. At the dog park, I couldn’t run around w/ the dogs and I felt like I might have to sit down once. Now, after I’ve eaten dinner, I’m feeling worse again. So I have morning sickness. Great harbinger of a healthy baby. Being sick makes me afraid and sad and I direct it all to the pregnancy. Esp w/o DH around. I’m looking fwd to being a mom. But what I told my currently pregnant friend is true. Being pregnant is dreadful. I worry that this will go on and interfere with family gatherings, with the wedding, etc. And I’m tired. Of worrying. Of being alone. I’m going to bed.