Ghost Story

I don't really like halloween. And not just because it's one of the many holidays that is way better if you have kids. To this day my dad still tries to get me to drive the 300 miles to my home town to carve pumpkins - and I know that if I have to say no it pretty much squelches any hope he had of actually 'celebrating' the holiday.

I don't like it also because I feel like dressing up as an adult can be somewhat tacky and because I HATE to be scared and I don't like to think about death and ghosts. I don't like that it gives certain teenagers (and adults) a chance to legitimately roam the streets drunk until dawn causing all kinds of mess and destruction. And I'm tired of being made fun of for dressing up my dogs 'cause I don't have kids. Thank goodness for the singular most awesome of redeeming values of this holiday - chocolate! Otherwise I'd outright hate halloween.

Ever since last year I have had an even deeper, darker disdain for the holiday. I think I've told this story before. But for those of you who haven't heard this particular 'ghost story' I thought today would be a particularly apt time to tell it. It was my September '08 cycle and at the beginning of October I had just gotten a very faint maybe BFP on TWO different tests and was at R!te A1d getting more tests and picking up a healthy pregnancy magazine. This A-hole jumped out from behind an aisle as I was standing in line, yelled "gotcha!" and grabbed my shoulders. My heart leapt right out of my chest and all I could think about was goddamnityouassholei'mpregnant! I was startled right out of my wits. And I was angry beyond words. What could the stress have done to my maybe-pregnancy?? I hadn't even seen the guy since he came up from behind but he congratulated himself on finding a pretty scary ghost mask, didn't I think? It was one of those Scre@m replicas. I couldn't speak. I was so angry. Who the F did he think he was scaring a complete stranger, touching a complete stranger, not to mention what an idiot for thinking his mask (wich I hadn't even seen) had had the intended effect. The next day, some of you will remember, the HPTs came out stark white.

I don't know if the original lines had been evap lines, but i don't think so 'cause they were pretty colorful to be evap lines. And I don't know if I would have had a chemical pregnancy anyway...but I'll always wonder. And I'll always hate the ignorance and idiocy of people like that guy. Halloween just seems to bring it out in people.

Maybe some of you are thinking "bah humbug" and to some extent that's exactly how I feel. If halloween disappeared tomorrow never to return I'd be fine with it. But ask me again when (if) I have kids and I'll probably feel much differently.