Honest Scrap Award

I made it my blog homework to finish this much-delayed post before ICLW as I think it's a nice way to introduce myself, set out a few details of my life that you can't find in my sidebar, and showcase a few blogs that I find particularly noteworthy.

First, many many thanks to MeAndBaby for this fabulous award. It was really a very gracious gesture and I treasure it. May I find in myself the honest scrappiness that others have seen in me. And may I use it wisely and help it to grow throughout this journey of mine. And now, dear readers, I shall pass it on.



The Rules:

* Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
* Show the 7 winners’ names on your blog and leave a comment informing them that they have been awarded Honest Scrap.
* List at least 10 honest things about yourself.


10 Honest Things About Me:

1. I'm a worrier and sometimes my 'realism' gets a little pessimistic. But thankfully I have found that acceptance of the uncertain comes with maturity.

2. I quit caffeine in the summer of 2008, about seven months prior to my wedding, exclusively in preparation for the TTC process. I haven't been drinking much caffeine since. And I miss it. I love caffeine. But I'm not going to start up again notwithstanding that my TTC process may not resume anytime in the near future because I hate the idea of going through withdrawal again.

3. I am a huge, religious, and unapologetic fan of many (but by no means all) reality TV shows. My favorites are American Idol, America's Next Top Model, Hell's Kitchen, The Bachelor(ette), SYTYCD, and Apprentice. This is something I get really excited about. I will skip social engagements to make sure I see the next episode as soon as possible and thank GOD for DVR. Sometimes I question my priorities when I'm shusshing DH to make sure I don't miss a moment.

4. It's ridiculous how much I love my dogs. I love them more than I ever imagined possible despite always having been abnormally empathetic towards animals. I miss them when I'm at work or even when I'm in the shower...in fact, when DH and I are walking them, sometimes one of us will have to pick one up because we miss them way down there on the ground. I once heard a new mom say, in a very honest moment, "I wonder when I will love my baby more than I love my dog," and I used to worry that that could be me. I'm over it now though.

5. I love to sing. I used to perform, growing up, and now I miss it so I sing at pretty much every opportunity I can get. Which is usually limited to the car, the shower, and the occasional karaoke night. I am one of the few people I know who genuinely loves karaoke.

6. I have sometimes thought, from a purely selfish standpoint, that it would be better to be divorced with a kid than divorced with no kids. Obviously it wouldn't be better for the poor kid to go through a divorce...I think it just says something about how much I want a kid.

7. Recently, I have begun to make purchases and plans - specifically clothes purchases, a camera purchase, vacation planning, whether to refinance the house, when to buy a new car - keeping in mind that there is supposed to be a baby or two in the picture soon. I feel bad about this, like I'm jinxing it or should just live each day for what it is instead of dwelling on what I don't have. But some of these are big ticket items or require planning ahead and do take foresight. So they are a constant reminder of the pregnancy and children I don't yet have.

8. Relatedly, after I found out I was pregnant, my shopping habit and a lot of my attachments to inconsequential material things (shoes and anything Coach, e.g.) abated almost overnight - just as quickly as food aversions and morning sickness descended. I think my sense of perspective and priorities settled in. And it's stuck. I've only purchased two pairs of shoes since last fall. Okay, three. I still have my moments.

9. I am ridiculously open. I can't seem to use much discretion when I'm talking about myself to people I trust and sometimes to people I shouldn't trust (I'm also very trusting). A few people IRL know the whole story of my m/c and the bizarre aftermath - even two co-workers - and while I sometimes wish I could hide behind a veil of secrecy, the vast majority of the time I'm glad I'm open.

10. I have heard mothers say many variations of the following: "the first time I held my child, I finally knew what the meaning of life was." A friend of mine (a mother) said this was 'crap,' - that it was too much pressure to put on the poor kid and would mean that life is just a vicious cycle of living for the next generation with none being happy or sufficient on their own. But I don't think it's crap. I think it's a beautiful, inspiring, and romantic notion and it keeps me in this game.

I give this award with great enthusiasm and admiration to (in random order):

1. Kim at Baby Shmaybe?




2. babyinterrupted at baby, interrupted




3. Bluebird at Little Bluebirds Fly




4. Waiting for Baby at Why Can't I stay pregnant?




5. Mrs. Hammer at ...Expect Miracles...




6. Babychaser at The Baby Chase




7. Echloe at Non-Elusive BFP