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Monday, May 4, 2009

Who would've thought Preseed has such a long shelf life?

As my expected date for resuming the TTC process gets thrust further and further into the future, I made the depressing move of checking the expiration date on my supplies of Preseed and Pre. We got our BFP on our first cycle using Preseed and at the time I fully intended to use it again during any subsequent TTC attempts. I now question whether that's wise, given the outcome of our first pregnancy. Maybe sperm that shouldn't have otherwise had access to my egg got there precisely because of the Preseed, causing this mess I'm in. Maybe these genetically effed-up sperms would have died en route or missed completely if not for the synthetic pathway I laid for them. And clearly, they should have missed - they were not capable of forming a viable life and instead have transformed into a genetic quagmire of cancerous growth. Isn't this the antithesis of Darwinism?

There's a question here for any of you aspiring PhD's or MDs needing a research topic: can Preseed increase the incidence of abnormal pregnancies beyond the baseline rate by facilitating conception where it would not otherwise have happened? By choosing a popular sperm-friendly lubricant to aid in our TTC process did I unwittingly mess with mother nature and in so doing, bring this catastrophic failure of a pregnancy upon myself? I have not been one to place blame with respect to the miscarriage. I get that it was probably a chromosomal fluke of chance and the subsequent echos of a potential mole have made this possibility even more likely in my and my doctors' eyes. But I do wonder, is there a reason we didn't conceive until we used Preseed? Should we just use patience next time, should we be so lucky to have a next time? To be clear, I am not blaming myself. Or even Preseed. I'm just voicing a hypothesis that popped into my head during my frantic search for answers and the question interests me from a purely scientific standpoint.

I understand that plenty of people have conceived perfectly normal children with Preseed after many cycles and even years of no success. And I don't mean to impugn its benefits and miraculous powers. But I do wonder if it can cause a perverse effect in even a small percentage of the pregnancies it facilitates.

My supply expires in September of 2010. That is far longer than I expected it to last. I don't dare assume that we will be ready to try again by that time (though I fervently hope it will be far sooner) but in any case, it gives me plenty of time to think about our next approach, again, should we be so lucky.

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