The doppler I rented. Sitting in my office. All wrapped up in UPS packaging. Totally innocuous. If anyone asks what it is I can easily pretend it's a gift for my mom whose birthday we're celebrating this Friday - shoes most likely - the box is the right shape.
...
There it is. I was kind of hoping they'd lose my order and then I wouldn' t have to face the temptation. The difficulty of the decision of whether to try it out. Sounds harmless enough...but so does a raspberry mocha or roughhousing with my dogs. I think I don't trust myself to keep a level head here.
I'm over the mocha (thanks to many of you) and I'm not feeling particularly worried these days. I'm still getting sick. My bbs still hurt. I'm not that much bigger but every once in a while I'll decide that my belly has gotten firmer or wider or I'll get a good pinch of round ligament pain. No strange discharge. Not too many weird cramps. I'm about to tell my parents. I don't really have the freedom to freak out right now.
But at the same time that it's not a good time for a freakout, it's a perfect time to get to hear that rapid woosh woosh woosh woosh. And it's sitting right there. I don't know that I have the resolve to resist giving it a try. I know my doctor couldn't find it, but that was a week ago and she tried for less than a minute. Same with the nurse practitioner.
It's strange, especially for a control freak like me, to realize that I can't predict what my own actions will be. I truly have NO idea what I am going to decide about this.
It will probably depend, at least partly, on when DH gets home. If he's late and I have a bunch of time to myself, I bet I'll try it. If he's around, I'll probably wait to avoid the judgment - he thinks I'm plenty obsessed and paranoid. But I don't think he grasps the relief it would give me. The peace of mind. The excitement. Not just for the moment, but knowing I could check at any time would probably calm me down quite a bit going forward.
On the other hand, what am I trying to achieve at this point? To make sure it's still alive before the whole world knows? I'm pregnant with a baby and if said baby doesn't make it I almost want the world to know what I've been through because I don't think I could pretend this time. This is unlike my first pregnancy in that I don't think I could just go on acting as if nothing had happened should it come to an early end in the second tri. So why not throw caution to the wind, let the world know? Let myself continue in my blissfull ignorance. And see what we see in three weeks?
Oh, but then it would be nice to know it's okay...hmmmm...
On a somewhat unrelated note, has anyone ever felt round ligament pain when they were just sitting there doing nothing? I've felt plenty of RLP when getting up or turning over in bed or sneezing, I even felt it a little today when I got out of bed. Later today, while I was sitting at my desk not moving at all (I might as well have been asleep, seriously) out of the wild blue I felt like I got stabbed in the abdomen, slightly to the left of center. Really sharp but it went away as quickly as it came. And that was it - no other ramifications. No other cramps, no bleeding. Has anyone had this happen?
14 years ago
6 comments:
Aww! I'm excited for you :)
Take your time with it. Use it closer to the pelvic/pubic bone area because the baby is very low right now and take it very slow. . . I wouldn't move from one place too fast because it really can take time!
GOOD LUCK
i think you should try it with the idea that you probably won't be able to find the heartbeat, then if you do find it you will be pleasantly surprised but if you don't find it you will have prepared yourself. i think i was able to find louise's heartbeat when i was about as far along as you are, but my doctor never had trouble finding it either so PLEASE don't worry if you can't find it, i just know your little peanut is going to make it!!! i know you are scared so right now is a good time to let everyone else belive that things are going to be ok and soon you will start to believe it too!!!
This makes me smile for you, thinking back to when we ordered a doppler for our twins. I bought it for myself, for similar reasons to yours. . . but DH ended up loving it :) It became his "job" to find the heartbeats, and nearly every night he would pester me, "Can we listen, can we listen?!" So sweet. I hope you and your DH make the same special memories :)
Oh, and "yes" in answer to your question re RLP.
Yes, I've had the pains! Weird, but i've heard it's just the uterus stretching. I really want a doppler, but I feel like you. I don't want to make myself crazy if I can't find the heartbeat. You know your going to use it! :O)
I agree with K, use the doppler in the lower region. I did this - after a friend advised me to - and I heard a heartbeat. I had to keep on asking DH if he heard it. But, don't freak out {I know, I know} if you can't find it. SEriously.
RLP can be a pain and at the same time keep you sane that something's going on in there. Happens to me. I read in one of these pregnancy books that RLP can strike anytime, even when sitting in a chair. Their advice was to walk around from time to time.
I agree with pp's: Try it, but convince yourself beforehand that you won't be able to find the heartbeat. Use it slowly and if you can't find it, try again later this week or this weekend.
Good luck! :)
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