Fifteen Weeks

How far along? 15w1d

Maternity clothes? Bella bands and loose tops.

Stretch marks? No.

Sleep? Sleeping on my side is painful. My hips feel all out of whack all day (and I am using a body pillow). Something's gotta give - either I get used to it or I'll sleep on my back until it becomes intolerable or dangerous and then sleep sitting up. None of these options sound particularly good.

Best moment this week? Coming out of the closet at work. It's a relief.

Movement? The baby is certainly moving around but I can only tell because of the doppler. I am starting to pay more attention to the little blips, gurgles, pangs, and flutters in my belly to see if I can feel the baby, but so far no luck.

Food cravings? Cookies, mexican, carbs in general. Fruit and yogurt has become a staple too.

Gender? No idea. Signs all point to Girl! but I don't much believe in signs.

What I miss? Wine. I've had exactly 3 sips of alcohol since finding out about the pregnancy. I don't plan to be a total purist for the whole pregnancy but I'm still stone cold sober for now and I miss it. It's worth it though, of course.

Weekly Wisdom: This is borrowed from something that my mom said last week when we filled her in on the news. She said "you having a baby reminds me of how long and adventurous life is!" I thought it was one of the sweetest things I'd ever heard. I was so touched that she would attribute that kind of feeling to something that I had done.

Milestones: Telling work. That was a tough step because I still feel like i'm in any kind of 'safe zone' but what will be will be, I guess. And I am starting to, um, expand - I wanted to tell people before it became obvious.

Emotions: Scared. Scared that my cervix won't hold up or that I'll deliver prematurely. Here's a question to the community: Have you ever faked a symptom to get your OBG to see you or give you a particular exam? I was thinking I'd like her to check my cervix for my own peace of mind but since she says D&C's do NOT increase the risk of IC, I doubt she'll do it 'just because' and she might have me committed if I even ask her to do it 'just because.' So at my next appointment I can either say "no strange symptoms" which is the truth, or "I had some light spotting last week" (lie) and see if that deserves a quick check. I don't have much problem with a little white lie, I just don't want it to backfire...i.e. I don't want to cry wolf or have to worry about keeping my story straight - I may have to call in and report spotting before my appointment because she probably knows I'm too paranoid to just see spotting and then wait for my next appointment rather than calling in right away.

The medical community and insurance companies are ok with the loss of a certain number of babies even if they are lost for reasons that could have been prevented with some extra monitoring or tests. To them the extra lives lost don't outweigh the extra monetary cost of checking each and every woman for a condition that only affects 1 out of 100 and that's a big part of how they decide what is 'routine' prenatal care and what is not. IC is one of the things they don't think is worth checking for so I feel like it's something we need to take into our own hands in order to avoid being the 1 in 100. And it's not just IC, there are a number of conditions not routinely screened for which - if they were screened for up front - numerous lives lost and heartbreaks would be avoided.