I must be as crazy as my OBG thinks that I am

UPDATED

J/k. No one is that crazy. Anyway, I called back. I said that since the dog jumping incident (notice I said it was a "dog jumping" incident to the obg office so they would take it more seriously than a "dog falling over on me" incident) I've started feeling cramps and my symptoms went away overnight. This was stretching the truth a little. I don't really have any more crampy feelings than usual and usually it's gas. As far as symptoms, this is the first day I haven't taken zofran but it's been a gradual thing so far. Still, it's a little scary to have gotten through half a day without it.

I decided to seize the opportunity because my OBG is out on thursdays and I figured I had a chance at someone actually caring and being responsive today. I also figured, it won't hurt to ask for a check-up and it would do me a world of good to see or hear a h/b today not just because of the dog incident but also because I'm less than 24 hrs away from the 2d tri, I'm about to 'tell' (I so badly want to be excited about that again, it's such a big step), and it really is scary to notice my first tri symptoms disappearing. Also, my doppler will be here in the mail any day and if I see a h/b today and can't find one tomorrow at home, I won't be as worried when I try it on my own as if I didn't see one today.

And man did the on-call doc help me out. I have an appt at 4:30 with a nurse practitioner to check everything out. Hopefully this nurse practitioner has access to and can use an u/s machine because the worst thing would be if she just tries to use a doppler again and has to reschedule for an u/s. I guess that wouldn't be the worst thing - being as though this is a 'bonus visit' and I don't actually expect anything to be wrong. But it would be sheer bliss to have some reassurance today. If everything goes well I am duct taping pillows, sandwhich-style, to my abdomen, and wrapping it all in yellow 'caution' tape, from now 'til the end of the pregnancy.

At the risk of infuriating you all even more about my current obg, I have to tell one more story that demonstrates what a b-- she is. I'm doing this for the entertainment value but if you anger easily, feel free to skip it.

My husband is greek. I am mixed descent - white as it gets. So it's possible that I have some greek in me too. Greek people are at higher risk of carrying (or having) thalassemia which I am no expert on - it's some blood disorder, I think some type of anemia and I think it can be pretty serious. If both parents are carriers, a kid can have the disease. So at our first u/s appointment, way back at 7 weeks, my OBG suggested that while I'm getting my blood drawn for other things I should get a Thalassemia test. If I was negative, then DH wouldn't have to be tested. Then she called back a couple days later and said that, based on other blood results of mine that she had reviewed, it looked like my whatever-platelets-or-something were in the normal range so I probably didn't really need the test because the chance that I was a carrier was very very low, almost nonexistant. I've heard her say that before - when I raised the possibility that I had a molar pregnancy last year after I noticed my hcg was still high she said that based on a 'normal' pathology report (when she went back to look at it months later it was actually 'inconclusive,' not 'normal') the chances of that were "close to zero." How could I ever trust her assessment of "less than 1% risk" or "almost nonexistent" again? Plus, can't someone be a carrier of a disease without showing any manifestations? Isn't that what a 'carrier' is? So I said I'd like to get the test anyway, just to be sure. So I got it and it came back negative.

Then, at our 12 week appointment on tuesday she raised the subject again...
OBG: "So you got the Thalassemia test...."
Me: "Yes, it turned out well, I was relieved"
OBG: (not listening, speaking over me) "Despite the fact that the risk was point oh oh one that you would have it, given your [whatever-platelet] count"
Me: "Well I just wanted to be sure."
OBG: "At $1000 a pop...."

So by the end of this brief non-conversation I realized she didn't just want to go over my Thalassemia result, she wanted to indicate to me her displeasure at my having gotten it - and in a rather passive aggressive and condescending way. Not only had I not trusted her advice, I had "wasted" good money. WHAT? First of all, how could it be a waste if there was a nonzero chance that me and DH would both be positive. That would have implications for not just this pregnancy but for any future pregnancies. Second, WTF does she care? Then she proceeded to tell me about some other test that geneticists are recommending lately that she doesn't agree with 'cause the incidence in the population is so low. She didn't tell me what test it was (probably afraid that I would want that one too), she was just venting about all these tests people are taking that are, she thinks, a waste because the chances of positive results are low. I didn't seize the opportunity to debate with her but in retrospect I wonder what the test was for and how easy it was to get - I think a simple blood test should be at least offered to everyone regardless of the cost if can prevent a severe problem. If it could save even one baby, one parent's heartache, even if they're one out of 20,000....how could you not at least suggest it? I realize the insurance companies don't agree and apparently my OBG is 'one of them.'

I wish I was meeting the on-call doctor today, she is a prime candidate for a switch since she's been on-call for my OBG since my saga began and she's gotten to know my case pretty well. I would like to switch but the fact of the matter is I don't need to see my OBG all that much during the pregnancy and it's a wild card at the end - whoever is on-call when you go into labor is who you get in the delivery room. It would be particularly unfortunate to have a situation where I break up with her and then have her be the one that delivers the baby. I have to do more thinking on this whole subject, obviously. Thanks to everyone for their comments, I really appreciate hearing your perspectives on all of this. I'll update after the appointment.

UPDATE:

Freak out fix achieved. The nurse pract. was fabulous. So cheerful, so understanding. Did not act like she was about to send me to the looney bin. She pulled the u/s machine out first thing. And we saw the little flicker and the peanut even gave a punch in the air which was awesome because I haven't seen it move much. The nurse was trying out different things on the u/s machine (they have new ones) and at one point said "now we're just playing," almost like an apology for taking up so much time. "Go right ahead," I said, I was loving it. She printed out some pictures and then tried to use the doppler again but to no avail.

Whew. I feel SO much better. I'm not really religious but I'm thinking of trying to give up 'worrying' for lent. I've never found anything quite so perfect to give up. usually the things I come up with are either not that important to me anyway (so it's no big deal to give them up) or I decide not to give them up because it feels like self-deprivation. Giving up worrying would be both challenging and beneficial. One can dream right?