Got it!

As Katery and Katie suggested, I had fully convinced myself that I wouldn't find it. How could I? The doctors hadn't been able to. And they were pressing down hard and probably knew where to look so how would I, newbie, to afraid to press down (I know, I know), ever have a chance? I was pretty confident by the time I got home that if I couldn't find the hb, I would continue to feel the way I've been feeling. Kind of unresolved. Wondering. But not frantic or upset.

Nevertheless, I mentally reviewed all the tips you all have told me and the ones I've read on message boards. I got home from work early so I had time before DH got home. I had a full bladder and put a pillow under my butt and otherwise laid back flat. I started on one side and within about 20 seconds I could hear my heartbeat. Slow and steady. But the display was fluctuating wildly between 180 and 200. Whaaaaaaat? It didn't occur to me to worry, I just thought matter-of-factly that this can't be right. And then I think I felt excitement that it was at least registering something higher than my own hb. I thought maybe it would help if I took a deep breath and tried to relax. And it inched back into the 180-190 range. Still high. Still rapid fluctuations. And still, all I could hear was my own hb. I think what was happening was that the doppler was picking up both mine and the baby's (which I couldn't hear) and trying to count bpm's based on the combined noises. Maybe.

Anyway, I started to move the wand around and when I hit dead center, not too low, right above the hairline (sorry tmi), holding the sensor flat but not even pressing, that's when I heard it. Nothing but the sound of galloping hoofbeats, just like all the message boards say! And the display fluctuated between 155-165.

I fully did not expect to even hear the hb, let alone hear it as clear as it was. The volume was way up and it was just miraculous to me, like my baby was right there. With me.

I had had some reservations about this whole doppler idea, as you all know. In part because I chose a more expensive rental. It's a $600 doppler; the rental fee is $50/mo with discounts if you rent for three or six months at a time (which I took advantage of). Since then I've heard of far better deals. But just that moment, that one time, was worth what I paid. That's what I've been hoping for. Just the ability to check in. To know it's ok. I would have paid far more.

For anyone interested it's the Huntle!gh FD1+, 2mghz. I rented it from St_ork R@d!o And no, no one paid me to mention that. Unfortunately.