Scared Straight

It's baaaaaaaaaaack.

My ticker, see?

Tonight I read one too many articles about mothers who die of placental cell tumors shortly after birth and chromosomal defects and miscarriages that could be related to MTX prior to conception. Nothing new. I told DH that we should wait until early November, just to be safe. He thought that would be a good idea. Now I'm accountable. I said it. Out loud. We're waiting. I actually feel relieved. The extra month will suck, but not as bad as all the anxiety that would ensue, whether rational or not, if I were to conceive in early Oct.

I am of course assuming we will conceive the first time in the sack. I actually have this feeling that we will. Probably because that's how it worked last time...last November. One year ago. We will be trying again on the same cycle we conceived last year. It could be a nightmare repeated, or it could revive my belief that the holiday season is the best time of the year. Time will tell. Until it does, I need to let this go. And focus on getting healthy. And living me some life.

Hope you all are having wonderful holiday weekends.