To go or not to go...to see Dr. GO

I made an appointment with my gynecologic oncologist (Dr. GO) a few weeks ago when it became clear to me that I wasn't going to get him to answer my questions about The Wait over the phone. The appointment is set for August 10. After I made the appointment, I had The Conversation, the subject of my immediately preceding post, with Dr. OBG and now I'm perplexed. Do I go to the appointment with Dr. GO or do I skip it, now that I've heard everything there probably is to hear - namely, there really is no way to safely and in confidence short cut The Wait?



Possible benefits

• A greater understanding of why I am waiting SO DAMN LONG. Which, in theory, could reduce my resistance and anxiety about The Wait.
• I guess I am hoping that there might be a chance, however razor thin, that Dr. GO will tell me that The Wait can be shortened. This would be worth taking the time off and any emotional cost associated with the visit.
• I usually feel better after talking to Dr. GO. He's very down to earth and matter of fact. He will tell it like it is.
  

Possible problems

• Missed work - this is huge. I need to get more billables under my belt before the end of the billable year.
• Another couple hours spent expending exhausting emotional energy on the topic - undoubtedly it will fuel rather than abate my obsession. I don't want to cry about this anymore, I want to move on.
• Dr. GO will probably not shorten The Wait. So really, what's the point?

Dr. OBG said she thought I should go to the appointment, notwithstanding my conversation with her. But I think she just wanted someone with more credibility to back her up. She wanted to pass the buck, so to speak. Also, she wants me to be able to calm down about it all. She thinks I will benefit by going straight to the horse's mouth because she took me seriously when I said I did better with more information than less.

I don't know what to do. If he tells me he doesn't think I need to wait until January, that would be worth the visit. But if the story stays the same, no matter how much additional information I get, I don't know that it would be worth it. Helpful, yes, but not worth the missed work. Honestly, if I wasn't worried about work, I would go in a second. Maybe that's my answer....although work is important these days and it's not like a life-threatening situation or an appointment I really need. It's purely gratuitous and I'm not in a position to take gratuitous time away from work. Ughh.