The straw that broke the camel's back

UPDATED Near the bottom

Dr. OBG's office called me back this morning. I broke off a conversation with a co-worker to answer the phone (this is huge for me, I almost never interrupt a live conversation for a cell phone call 'cause I feel like it's so rude), I was sure that Dr. OBG would finally be calling me back herself. But no. It was the automaton nurse saying that Dr. OBG has reviewed my question about why the 6 months of more waiting time start from right now and not from the time HCG reached zero back in June. What I want to know is why they've prescribed this wait time in the first place, why not three months? Why not 12? What are the statistics and risks behind the prescribed wait? No one has ever told me why I'm waiting all this time. No one has even said "you need to wait for 7.5 months after HCG hits zero because the risk that the GTD will come back is higher during these months. Because any recurrence could harm a future pregnancy and your own health, perhaps gravely." I had to deduce this on my own. They must either assume I know the reasons already (although they have overtly discouraged me from doing my own research so how could they make such an assumption?) or believe that there is no reason to explain it to me. It must be the latter since like I just mentioned, they don't want me to be doing any research. I don't operate that way, I need a reason to follow directions. It doesn't have to be complex or bullet proof, or particularly brilliant. It just has to make sense. In three months of calling my doctors to try to clarify what The Wait really is, and why, I have not gotten even that.

The message I left on Friday asking, finally, "Why?" was kind of the last straw for me. I know it was tedious and annoying and obsessive of me to leave yet another message, but I am just not getting my questions answered. I am playing hardball now. Dr. OBG has thus far gotten away with one word answers. Yes. No. Because. And finally I stop beating around the bush and ask directly what I want to know, (why this particular wait time?), and - are you ready for it?



This is her answer: "That is the protocol."



She actually took the time out of her day to explain to her nurse that she should tell me "Because. That's the protocol." Now she's just being rude and evasive. She is deliberately avoiding answering my questions. She is avoiding making any suggestions or taking any steps to help me. If she knows, she should tell me. If she doesn't, she could have said, "I'm not sure of the details, let me talk to Dr. GO about it." At the very least she could have told me what it's a protocol for. I don't know if it's a protocol for a molar pregnancy, a partial mole, a GTD or choriocarcinoma. For all I know (and, more to the point, for all she knows I know) it could be the protocol for something I've never heard of.

This is adding insult to injury. This is the worst it's been with her, notwithstanding the past six months of pain. This is a clear message that she doesn't care. About me or my concerns about my health. It's like she's done with me. She's playing a game. The more questions I ask, the more curt she gets with her responses. She. Doesn't. Care.

I asked the nurse, politely, sugary sweet actually, because now I'm starting to feel bad that the nurse is having to jockey these idiotic messages back and forth, "Is there any way she could call me?" And get this, the nurse responded "I keep telling her to call you. I am so sorry you're having to go through all this. I'll leave her the message again." Notice I've started referring to her as the "nurse" instead of the "automaton nurse."

I'll update if anything happens. Don't hold your breath.

UPDATE:

Nothing happened with Dr. OBG's office. But iamstacy posted a very helpful comment. Thanks for explaining 'protocol,' I have NO idea which condition they're applying but I think they are being too 'textbook' as you allude. Which may or may not result in them being too cautious.

We could start trying on our own, we haven't gotten to the point where we're turning to IUI or IVF or any procedures or drugs that would require the Dr's cooperation, thankfully. But I would like the Dr.'s blessing, only because if we get PG again right away, I want an early u/s. I feel like if I cheat and start trying earlier, and succeed, the Dr. might ask us to go see someone else - she might fire me as a patient because I would now have a history of not following her advice. Which wouldn't be that bad (because I despise her) except I bet it would be hard to convince the new Dr. to give us an early ultrasound, whereas Dr. OBG would definitely give us one. Or two. And she'd watch my HCG appropriately like a hawk. In short, she knows where I'm coming from and while endlessly frustrating and horrible at communication, I do feel like I will be safe in her hands. Safety is costing me precious time though and frustrating me beyond what I think is healthy.

I'm also inclined to follow reasoned advice because don't want to put me or my future child at risk. If this is the safest route, waiting until January, I'm ok with it. But if it's ridiculously overcautious (or undercautious) and if it's a protocol for a condition we can rule out, I'd like to know about it. More information would help me to accept The Wait. I am sure of it. That's all I'm asking for here. I've never heard of a 7.5 month protocol for the things they suspect I might have had. It's either six months or twelve, depending on the following factors:

Whether HCG comes down "on its own" i.e. without chemo. There is some debate as to whether my HCG came down "on its own." I had MTX injections but they didn't do much and my HCG continued it slow downward trend for a month after we stopped the injections eventually hitting zero "off treatment" (levels coming down on their own indicate a shorter wait to try again typically).
The time it takes for HCG to hit zero: The levels certainly did take a long time to come down - six freaking months (indicating a longer wait to try again).
Did HCG go up on its own following a m/c or D&C. Yes. But. They never went up more than six lousy points (one more point for a shorter wait). Typically the upswings in a molar pregnancy are in the hundreds or thousands.

None of this sounds like a molar pregnancy. It does sound like GTD, but that's too generic of a term to have a protocol I think. So I'm lost. And I think the Dr.s are too.