Results: <2
Instructions: test again in one week.
No way Jose. Testing again in two weeks. I've only been testing once every 10 days so far anyway. There is no medical need to test every week. My Dr. OBG is crazy. And she of course didn't call me back herself so I had no way to discuss this or anything else with her. You'd think, notwithstanding the financial incentives she has to make me come in instead of advising me on the phone, that she'd have some sensitivity to what I've been through and my cries for help last week. But evidently not. Her receptionist called and said my levels were zero. "Does that mean less than two?" I asked. I'm not taking this "five is the same as zero" crap anymore. (Especially after my nightmare last night that the level was 3). And she said yes. So I'm glad.
I've been working like crazy. Nights, weekends. DH is about to leave for a month and I'm pretty depressed that this is how I'm spending the time leading up to his departure. Imprisoned at work. But I need the hours. It's endlessly frustrating. I'm supposed to go to a function with some of his friends this weekend. And I don't think I'm going to make it. But until I'm sure I will agonize over whether I can make it work, whether I should work instead, whether that will insult DH and his friends, it's a lose lose situation. If I don't go, this will be the second time in a month that I've flaked on his plans. And I'm sure it's not lost on him that I've somehow been available for my family, although I did have to blow off a (pregnant) friend for lunch last weekend when DH and I both had to work. Hmm...I'm noticing a pattern of selective busy-ness. It's like I'm prioritizing work above things that maybe I shouldn't. Like spending the weekends with friends. Or at least with each other.
So I'm under a lot of pressure (some admittedly self-inflicted, this is one of many things I'd like to work on about myself) and my stress level is through the roof. And it bothers me that this affects not only my marriage and relationships, but also my fertility. When I was getting my blood drawn yesterday the phlebotomist was telling me how important it is to relax when trying to make a baby. She has seven girls. She said it will happen, I just need to relax. Any stress at all can disrupt your cycles, she said. Really? Any stress at all? It's a wonder the world is so populated. At least I have a few 'freebie' cycles before we start trying again. I better get all my stress out now.
15 years ago
4 comments:
Oh hell no! Please tell me that a medical professional did not tell you to "relax". I can take it from friends and family who themselves breed effortlessly and have no idea how the other half, er, sixth lives. But, someone who knows better? You are a far better woman that I for keeping your grace about you in that moment.
Are you going to change docs? This one makes ME mad I can only imagine how frustrated you must feel!
I can't believe she told you to relax. Do they know how much pressure relaxing is??? If relaxing worked, we wouldn't be going to docs to get us pregnant!!
Where is your hubby going for a whole month? What kind of work does he do? That's a really long time. :( That sucks.
Don't listen to that stress crap. If that were true then nobody would have have babies in times of war and famine and those times there are historically way more babies born. Relaxing is good for you. But this is not the reason you are suffering from IF. I can't believe the phlebotomist had the nerve to say that to you.
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