"HCG Results Day" or "1 step forward and 2 steps back"

UPDATED BELOW x3

Results: Less than 2. Actually the automaton nurse said "Less than zero" but we all know that's not right. Lies, lies, lies is all I get from that office.

The step forward is that I've graduated to monthly testing! No more weekly stab-fests. With any luck, my veins might regenerate a bit. Yesterday they had to put a warming pad on my arm to get anything out. And there was only one unimpeded vein available so we weren't taking no for an answer. This is good because as arbitrary as my doctors are, if - in all their anal wisdom - they're not worried about waiting a month to test, neither am I.

The two steps back is that she said "Now test once a month for SIX MORE MONTHS!" Friends, this is the second time the story has been changed. And frankly I've had enough. I had had enough about a month ago when the story was first changed. So that would make what I have had now more than enough.

As I've mentioned, I have an appointment to talk to Dr. GO in 10 days. I feel like I'm approaching a negotiation. Like my lawyering skills might come in handy in persuading a doctor to let me do something other than what they've suggested. But I also am convinced that the plan Dr. OBG is following is completely arbitrary and probably unnecessary and that Dr. GO knows that he will have to acknowledge that if he wants to retain any semblance of credibility. And while he may be hesitant to disagree w/ Dr. OBG, I'm not going to ask him to do that. This meeting is not about her. In fact, I've decided to not even bring her up. If he wants to bring her up, fine, I'll deal with it then. But this is a meeting about me and my life. I'm going to go in there and ask to talk about how long I need to wait before we can safely TTC again. As if no plan had ever been suggested. As if we were starting from scratch. If he brings up old sh!t, then I will try to calmly and deferentially explain that the plan has been changed a couple times and that I just want to understand exactly what the recommendation is. And I want to understand the statistics and science behind it. I'm taking time off work, cancelled my second opinion appointment, and am going ALL the way in there so I plan to get out of it what I damn well need out of it! Thankyouverymuch.

UPDATE: So instead of sitting here stewing in my frustration ALL DAY LONG, I decided to call Dr. OBG back and leave a question for her: Can we count the six months from my last MTX injection? I've seen journal articles that substantiate this, and while she may have no interest in my internet research, if she asks where I'm getting this idea from I can say "I might ask you the same question," and then launch into all the inconsistencies in her prescribed waiting period. I don't think my suggestion sounds unreasonable.

The best case scenario is that she at least thinks about it seriously enough to call Dr. GO and see what he thinks. If they "ok" the plan I can cancel my appointment with Dr. GO (huge relief).

Worst case is that she says no and that would be pretty bad because then when I go talk to Dr. GO about it, I will be officially going behind Dr. OBG's back. In fact, I might still have to cancel Dr.GO's appointment since if she does talk to Dr. GO, then I'll have re-conditioned him to agree with her just before the appointment. He surely won't be happy to see me in that case. But even in the worst case scenario, she may feel compelled to explain why she's asking me to do the wait that she's prescribed. Which is all I really wanted in the first place.

I think asking is worth the risk. I'm not being totally reckless, hopefully she respects that. And the payoff is huge. I could get excited about waiting until November and about skipping the trip to Dr. GO's office.

I feel a little like I'm bidding for a house or something. She says 7.5 months. I come back with 4.5. Maybe we'll meet in the middle. Or maybe I'll get the smack down again and just continue feeling miserable about how awful my doctors are.

UPDATE II: The automaton nurse called back. No counting back she said, "the six months are subsequent to the weekly quant." "What textbook are you reading that out of?" I wanted to ask, "cause mine is different."

No explanation of why my idea isn't a good one, no suggestion that we could re-visit the issue after more tests and regular cycles. She didn't say anything like, 'go ahead but here are the risks.' She wouldn't call me back herself. She didn't ask Dr. GO, I'm pretty sure of that. Otherwise she would've mentioned that she had talked to him and it would have taken her much longer to get back to me.

I can barely breathe I am so upset. I am still going to the appointment with Dr. GO on the 10th. He wasn't consulted so I still need to hear for myself what he has to say about all of this.

UPDATE III: So I can't concentrate on work because I'm upset. And angry. So I called back with a new message. WHY? Why does the six month period start now and not when HCG hit the zero range? Simple enough, right? The receptionist asked if I had already called with that message. I said my prior message was related but that I hadn't gotten the whole answer so I was calling back. Am I crazy? Or am I just finally being appropriately assertive?

Unfortunately I was informed that Dr. OBG won't be in again until Monday. I can wait. I'm getting good at it.