16 week exam

The appointment went really...cheerfully. Surprisingly.

My OBG was just plain nice. And even conservative...

I mentioned I was concerned about IC and asked if we would be doing anything to check whether I'm "holding up" in there. I have figured out by now that 'playing dumb' is really effective with my obg. She bristles at any indication that I've gone online or done any self-examination (like the doppler). Instead of turning the subject to my anxeity she went through the risk factors and said I didn't have any of them. She repeated that my D&C wasn't a risk factor (she didn't seem to remember our original conversation on this topic which helped me not seem like a crazy person for raising the issue again) and then explained symptoms to look for. When she got to "pink discharge" I got a little dizzy. Sorry for TMI but I actually did have pink (very light, but definitely pink) discharge last weekend. It went away quickly and I tried and succeeded at pushing it out of my mind. But I raised it right then in the office. She asked if it was after intercourse. "Two days after." I responded. She nodded and said that was probably it but then she decided - get this...on her own - to do an internal check. She said everything was fine, totally normal, etc. etc. and warned me that the check itself could cause spotting but said that it wouldn't cause any other problems.

To be honest, I've been less worried about IC this week than I was up until 16 weeks. I know that may not make any sense but it's that whole 'being in the window' concept I blogged about in my last post. I crossed the 16w threshold...and nothing bad happened. I ran around on the beach this weekend (I even fell in the sand)...and nothing bad happened. I'm living my life and the window is passing by day by day and everything seems, dare I say it, fine. Knock. on. wood. I'm almost at a point where I am now more likely to worry about the internal exam causing infection or contractions or spotting or whatever than about IC. Almost. But I did have that weird pinkness...and she did decide to do the internal, it wasn't really a choice. And now it's the morning after and everything seems fine so I'm glad to have the peace of mind. Even if an internal check can't tell the whole story.

She found the heartbeat right away on the doppler. I think she expected me to pass out from relief. Which I didn't, thanks to my doppler. I think my baby will be healthier for me having that doppler, even if I do use it almost every day. There are so many fewer stress hormones swirling around in there thanks to that little gadget. Somewhat perversely, I was hoping she wouldn't be able to find it (but only because I knew it was there of course, having checked that morning) - that her doppler would be to weak or that the baby was hiding or something - and that she'd have to drag out the u/s which would have been a better way to check the cervix. But no such luck. The h/b was loud and clear. I really didn't mind too much, if you know what I mean.

I also raised the breathing issues I've been having (and blogged about under "what I miss" in my last post). She said they were normal and mentioned something that Dr. Google hadn't which is that I'm breathing for two - I have extra oxygen demands and extra carbon dioxide in my system so the whole apparatus is stressed and the process of breathing more laborious. This made a lot more sense to me at this stage than "the baby is sitting on your diaphragm or lungs." It's still so small and based on that explanation, if it's this bad now, I may not survive the next 6 months. But apparently it's all fine, nothing to worry about.

She did show a little of her color by warning me not to ask any questions at my anatomy scan. She said "I'm going to coach you on this. Don't ask any questions. They are trained to be stone faced..." Blah blah blah. "I'll call you a couple days later with the results." Of course that's what she'd say. And maybe they are. And maybe I won't get much out of them. But she did say they might be "ebullient" about the gender so if I didn't want to know I should tell them right away. I DO want to know. Desperately. And if they're going to be ebullient about that, I bet I can get a few more comments out of them. She also said that this particular team of techs has never been wrong on the gender in her experience. Good to know.